Thursday, December 22, 2005

#1 - Suicide (Part4)

I know you hate me now but you'll love me in the morning." Germz yelled. I think I actually screamed when the water hit my wounds, but I never cry. It was probably the fastest shower in my whole life, it probably only lasted about 3 minutes, enough to wash away the blood. When I got out, Germz was no longer there. I really didn't care, I knew she was somewhere and I wasn't to eager to go seek her out.

I wrapped myself in a fluffy towel and headed for my room, my arm was still bleeding a little bit. Germzwas sitting on my bed with a first aid kit on her lap."Sit. Lets see if I'm able to be come a doctor in my future, you will be my guinea pig, and do try not to scream... it distracts me and ruins my concentration."

"You're sadistic." I say dryly and sit down next to her."No, I'm realistic." She did a pretty good job on doctoring my wounds, it hurt like a son of a gun though. I had to clench my teeth to keep from crying out.

"There! All done." Germz said in a fake cheery voice.

"You know that really hurt."

"Yeah and well who's fault is that? I really don't think its mine."

"Are you going to spend the night here in my house?"

"You bet your ass I am, I cant afford to have you try this again when I'm not here. Don't give me that look."

"Well, then avert your eyes because I'm going to change." I got up and walked over to my dresser.

"Oh please." Germz sighed and rolled her eyes, next thing I knew she was taking off her shirt and pants. Germz is very pretty, petite and curvy, it seems that all guys will fall for her. I put on a nightgown. The whole day was catching up to me and I was drained, yawning I got into bed and laid down.

"I really screwed up tonight didn't I? I'm so stupid." I whispered, closing my eyes. I felt Germz laying down next to me and turned on her side facing me."You're not stupid, you did do a stupid thing though, and everyone does stupid things every now and again."

"Yeah but not you, you're the most level headed person I know." I turned on my side so we were face to face, she smiled, it was beautiful.

"Dear I thank you for your faith in my perfectness, but its false faith, I've done my share of stupid things." She reached over and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear tenderly. "Remember Michelle?""Yes, I liked Michelle, she was very nice. I really think she was the one for you.""Yes, well, so did I. I really thought that she was my soul mate and that scared me and I screwed it up."

"How?""Well, remember that party at James's house.""Yeah that was like two months ago, I skipped that party."

"Wish I had. I was three sheets to the wind by the end of the night and I slept with Gerade, my first time with a guy, thank god I don't remember it. Anyway I told Michelle what happened and she broke up with me, which is totally understandable.""I'm sorry Germz, I didn't know."

"Yep now you know even I can me stupid, little dove." I was getting really sleepy and snuggled a little closer to her for warmth. "Do you want to talk about what's going on inside your cluttered mind?"

"I don't think I could talk about it even if I wanted to, Germz."

"Its okay dove, just remember I'm always here for you no matter what." She laid an arm over my side.

"Germz, is it okay if I tell you something?" I asked half a sleep.

"Yes??"

"I love you Germz, and thank you for stopping me.""I love you to little dove." She kissed the top of my head and I feel asleep in her arms.