Wednesday, June 21, 2006

#2 - The Gazebo (Part5)

The following day, I went to Wilson's house, and told him what had happened. I also told him that my parents would never accept him in my life. I broke up with him. The words wouldn't come out of my mouth; I had to force them out of me. We said good-bye to each other. Tears came out of my eyes. He dropped me off at work. I just sat outside and cried for hours.

"How could I let him just walk out of my life?" I asked myself. Nothing felt right. I felt so empty inside. I couldn't take it. I knew I wanted to see him one last time. I was hurting. I got in the cab. I knocked on the door. No one answered. I let myself in. He wasn't in his room; I checked every room in the house. Finally, I saw him sitting outside by the swimming pool, with a confused look on his face.

He looked deeply hurt. I couldn't do this to him. I went running in the backyard. I told him to just hold me. When he held me, it felt so right and safe in his arms. I didn't want to let him go. I told him I couldn't live without him, and I asked him to take me back in his life. Without hesitating, Wilson said "My doors will always be open for you. " I told him that the reason I had broken up with him was because I didn't want to hurt him later down in the road.

"By God, I love you Wilson. But later down in the road if we get serious, I can't be with you. I have to marry the person whom my parents pick out for me." I said, with tears in my eyes. I had told him about the situation when we first started seeing each other, but I didn't know that it would actually come to this point. He held my face and said, " I knew what I was getting myself into, when I first met you. You still have few years before your parents marry you off. Maybe you will change your mind by then."

All I knew was that I needed him in my life, and I was willing to go through anything to be with him. I couldn't lose him at any cost. We have been together for nine months. We have our ups and downs. Sometimes we fight and don't get along, for us that's right and sometimes it's wrong, but in our hearts we both know that we'll always love each other. ALWAYS!!!

Ever since that day my parents haven't found anything. Every day I pray to God, I ask him to help me make the right decisions in life. I ask him to give me strength and courage to stand up for myself, and most of all I ask him to help me not to hurt the people that I love and care for the most.